A Letter To Carolline

dear liebe Carolline,

these days missing you so much .. imagine that we took a walk along Kartnerstrasse and had a cup of Viennesse Coffee and a piece of Saha torte then  listening to the great Strauss and Mozart .. and all those birds were flying and some walking around our table .. your wonderful face was touched by a fur and you tried to keep it on your  handkerchief .. yes Carry, 1988 .. 1989 .. how fast time is running ..

California .. what you have today? Here in Malang, guess, we have   "autumm " .. but not so colourful ,  I see all the leaves are falling  down in my garden, see, only in my garden .. Carry, these days I try hard to stand in the breach and still don't know how to survive and stick something out.. However our conversation last week giving me back a part of my spirit ..

Now, I'd like to take a break for a while .. I wish I could see you somewhere somehow .. You are an angel to me and since I found nobody to talk and trust, still, you are  there and give the light on my darkness .. 

Sometimes I feel like running out of my steam, they cooked me goose and knocked me into a cooked hat .. They let the cat out of the bag and I have to face this all alone, all alone, so unfair ....

dearest Carry,

let me close this letter here and promise me to share an evening with me this month , I need my strenght back, I need a piece of trust and I need to believe that somewhere sometime I will find my wings .. 

on my deepest grief,

me.

( Photo : Goa Cina, South of Malang, taken by me , 2012 )